Psalm 91

Why do I feel so antsy? It is a feeling of restlessness. It is a feeling of overwhelm-ness, without being too overwhelmed.

I can definitely tell that it is nearing the final push to the end of the semester. So many presentations, papers, etc going on in my life right now. And not just one of those things listed, but more like all of them, and then multiples of each on top of that. My life feels so FULL. I feel so distant from not only other people, but also my own self. I just look around at my desk in my room and can tell that my life is so...packed?..right now.

I spoke up in class about a week ago sharing how even when we feel overwhelmed and that we have no time for God, it is in those moments that when I am faithful to give God my time --even when I feel like I have no spare time to give-- He always seems to bless the rest of my time. I understand that...I practice it. But why do I feel so...it's almost like a panicked feeling. I just can't sit still. My heart feels like it is pumping about 20 million beats per millisecond.

I am being so vulnerable with you right now, but I know that it is when I humble myself and admit my weaknesses that I can find the encouragement to press on.

I have been studying about the topics of silence & solitude lately and it has been so rejuvenating. Maybe that is why I feel so frustrated at the moment, because no matter what I do, I feel like I can't get out of this antsy state of being and enter into a time of rest.

Psalm 91~

¹ Those who live in the shelter of the Most High

will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

² This I declare about the Lord:

He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;

he is my God, and I trust him.

³ For he will rescue you from every trap

and protect you from deadly disease.

⁴ He will cover you with his feathers.

He will shelter you with his wings.

His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

⁵ Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,

nor the arrow that flies in the day.

⁶ Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,

nor the disaster that strikes at midday.

⁷ Though a thousand fall at your side,

though ten thousand are dying around you,

these evils will not touch you.

⁸ Just open your eyes,

and see how the wicked are punished.

⁹ If you make the Lord your refuge,

if you make the Most High your shelter,

¹⁰ no evil will conquer you;

no plague will come near your home.

¹¹ For he will order his angels

to protect you wherever you go.

¹² They will hold you up with their hands

so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.

¹³ You will trample upon lions and cobras;

you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

¹⁴ The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.

I will protect those who trust in my name.

¹⁵ When they call on me, I will answer;

I will be with them in trouble.

I will rescue and honor them.

¹⁶ I will reward them with a long life

and give them my salvation.”

Psalm 138:8

Sorry everyone that it has taken me a month since my last post!...I definitely wasn’t planning on that. Every time I sit down to do it, I just feel like I have SO much to talk to you about. And then my posts get into extra personal type things that I don’t necessarily want to share with the entire world. But I am going to try to tell you a little bit about what is/has been going on in my life since we last chatted. J

Some people from my church back home in NC came up to visit the school last weekend. It was so much fun hanging out with them and seeing them. I have yet to be home since the end of August and I will not go home ‘til Christmas break in December. Which I do need to add that I will be able to see my family over Thanksgiving, I will just be driving to Tennessee for that instead of “home home”. But it will be fun!

Another neat opportunity that has come into my life is the possibility of going to Thailand next summer! I am not sure if it will actually work out or not, but I am really hoping that it does. I have to complete an “Observation & Participation” this May for my Education major. With relatives in Thailand, I thought it would be such a neat adventure for me to be able to do it over at an international school in Thailand.

Grace International School is the school that I am in connection with at the moment. They seem to be all for it and are excited for me to come. Cool side note---This past summer when I was heading to Guatemala, I sat near my old middle school principal on the plane to Miami & we ended up talking about my life, etc. One thing I do remember us talking about was Thailand. He had actually just gotten back from there & told me all about Grace International School & was going to get me connections there, etc. It is just so crazy that I have the possibility to actually follow through with this in less than a years timing of talking with my middle school principal about it. Just so crazy how life works…I mean, how GOD works!! Ahh J

Psalm 138:8~

“The Lord will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever …”